Toiletgongnism

1. Introduction

The worship of deities like the 土地公 has always been part of the Chinese tradition and beliefs.

Above is the statue of 土地公. It is believed that the worship of 土地公 brings about good harvest.

Many of these deities are becoming more and more irrelevant in today's context. For example, in the past, where the GDP was contributed largely by agricultural productions, the worship of 土地公 was extremely relevant. However, knowledge-based economy in the 21th century posed a great challenge for these deities. They had to either adapt to the changes or risk phasing out. In the KBE, they no longer get to enjoy the EOS they once had. Deitism is now considered a niche market alongside dominant religions with extensive networking.

As ironic as it may sound, religions need to evolve as well. Even deities must learn new skills to suit the society today or risk becoming jobless in our highly competitive society.

2. The Practices

A display of adaptability and resilience, the success story of Toilet公 will inspire you people out there. This is how Toilet公 looks like:

Nope. There is nothing wrong with your monitor. The looks of Toilet公 is not known for he hasn't shown himself yet. Then, you might ask how do we know he exist? Well, we do know he definitely exist and this will be further elaborated further later.

Toilet公 bless people with good hair days, making sure that their hair stand throughout the day without falling flat or being disturbed by random drafts. Toilet公nism is a religion that scores high on the utilitarian scale in today's society as nowadays, people experiment with bombastic hairstyles that defies Physics. The sacred symbol for Toilet公nism is none other than the mirror, in which worshippers pray to for strength and resilience from the roots of their hair.

Devoted devotee praying to Toilet公 even during lecture.

3. The Arguments

TongZi, otherwise known as the prophet for Toilet公, is a living evidence of the existence of deity Toilet公. Since he was young, he had hair that naturally (and unnaturally) stood up straight to the extent that his grandma had to put stuff on his hair to make it flatter, but to no avail. 

Only supernatural reasons can account for this hair-standing physics-defying occurrence. Toilet公 must have been the reason.

Wax is often used to achieve such hair-standing results, but what made TongZi's hair stand naturally? That is holy grail of Toilet公nism.

Will we ever find this holy grail? I don't have the slightest clue. But there are truly amusing speculations on the identity of this product. What are some of these speculations? We will investigate later on.

Feminist have long argued over the gender of Toilet公. For no one have actually seen Toilet公 before, how can we be so sure that Toilet公 is a he and not a she? So let us investigate this question.

Because majority of worshippers are male, it is rather disturbing to believe that a female deity watches over them in the male toilet, thus, believers prefer to believe that Toilet公 is that of their own gender. The belief that Toilet公 is in fact Toilet公 and not Toilet婆 is a matter of preference, there is no arbitrary evidence to state that Toilet公 is actually male.

This led some feminist to propose that Toilet公 might actually be a goddess. They have hence speculated that Toilet公 is this lady in the picture.

The prophet TongZi speaks of her as the goddess. 

He even smile in his dreams thinking of her. Can she be the answer? Can the chocolate in her hands be the holy grail, the answer to TongZi's ever standing hair? We will never know.

4. The Admission Criteria

Not everyone can enjoy the blessings of Toilet公. To put it in a crude manner, Toilet公 discriminates.

People like him are often rejected from Toilet公nism due to the lack of hair.

People like the one above is more than welcomed to join!

Put your faith in Toilet公 and make everyday a good-hair-day!